I have thought a lot about writing this post lately. I’ll first share how this thought came to me.
Ever since I was in school, I have seen many of my friends getting in relationships and subsequently breaking up. I being their friend, have heard stories both the side, male as well as female side. I always tried to stay aloof from the whole relationship drama, as I thought it was too much for me to handle, and there many other important things to concentrate on.
Well, whatever maybe the case, whenever they broke up, and I used to see them broken, depressed and shattered. All of us, the other friends, tried our best to help them move on. Divert their mind off those miserable memories. With time they moved on, they became “normal”. And after sometime, they found someone else, someone “better”, almost “the one”. And that was everything they ever wanted.
Yet again, after sometime, I again saw them unhappy with the relation, and then another break up and the cycle went on and on and on.
What I saw was, it was a vicious circle, people continuously got in to the same problem again and again. With a little introspection, I found myself in the same vicious circle.
The reason was, whenever we have a break up, and we look to move on, our friends, our parents, our relatives, our well wishers, all they tell us is that “you’ll find someone better! ” or ” You deserve better“. Their idea of moving on is to find someone else, and that too the sooner that better.It is stupid. We should instead find a person who gives us a higher purpose, not someone who pushes into the same circle again. Our friends have the same disposition as ours, how will they help us? We need someone more mature, not just socially or emotionally, but mature spiritually, who can root out the problem.
Nobody tells us the truth, that the reason is actually our desire for the opposite sex. Nobody tells us that we are falling into this circle because we have the thirst or want for the other sex. Hence we end making the same is take again and again.
When I faced this problem, the first thing I did was that I approached my spiritual Guru. I knew the whole working of relationships and all, I felt I did nothing wrong on my part and it wasn’t my partner’s fault either, then why did things not go very well? I wanted a spiritual perspective on it. All of my friends were right with me and supported me throughout my journey, yet they all lacked a spiritual insight which I was searching for.
So to move on, he gave me a purpose, a higher purpose to move on to, not some other person to move on to. This is when I moved tangentially outwards in a new dimension, that’s how I am learning to come out of this circle. The thing is, if we move on to some other person, it is all going to be the same, just a new person, but the results are going to be the same. Maybe it will be a different time, but the result will be the same, why? Because it is all happening on a material plane with root cause of it being desires.
But when we have a spiritual purpose, the person becomes irrelevant and we have God and our soul in perspective. We work for betterment of the soul. That is TRUE moving on. That’s what I would suggest, you can keep changing partners as much as you want, but you will find yourself in the same situation again and again, unless you move on to a spiritual cause, that’s when you’ll see things clearly, and it is then you’ll find a way to move on, that is transcendence. That should be something what we should be looking for.
Why fall in love with someone,when our can fall in love with the one, God?